It’s like a mantra…
Be strong. If you’re sick: Stay strong. If somebody died: You have to stay strong. It’s like a mantra these day’s. You read or hear it everywhere. And I don’t get it. What helped me the most in my life is to give up the believesystem that said ‘hold strong and act like you can handle everything’.
What does it actually mean: be strong. Don’t allow any emotions to break through your walls? Keep fighting, never give up (or give in)? Keep your mask on?
Like I said, it has helped me tremendously to let go of this thought that I have to be strong. Twenty years ago I had this major burn-out. There was no chance anymore that I could, in any way, hold up my walls of protection. Behind these walls there was so much sadness, depression and hopelessness. It is pretty normal that -as a human being- you want to protect yourself from feeling this pain. But, like my case shows, if you do this long enough, the walls will break one day and there’s no stopping it.
It took years to recover. When I found the Clarity Proces as a spiritual path of growth, I learned how to let those feelings go through my body without holding onto them. I learned to stay with the breath, and see those feelings as harmless. Old memories of pain, nothing more, nothing less. Back to the breath, which is always in the moment. Breath is life itself.
Don’t keep your walls up
Letting go of your walls, feels as being vulnerable. ‘Feels like’… but truth is, that you are not more vulnerable then when you’re walls were up. The memory of the child in you feels vulnerable. In truth you are an adult, with a strong and capable body. So, don’t believe that feeling vulnerable is bad. It isn’t. It is just a feeling and you can stay with your breath.
Living like this gives me that I can return more easily to the here and now, feel my breath, and am more honest with myself and to others. So if you’re sick, somebody died or anything bad happens, don’t stay ‘strong’ … be real.
Read more about living with the Clarity Proces.